You’ve finally made it out on the first date. You’ve planned a relaxed evening. You know what to do at the start of the first date, telling her about yourself while enticing her to tell you about herself. You haven’t done so badly that she’s fled and left you alone.
After dinner and the other activities planned for the date, what do you do? How do you complete your “close”, impressing her sufficiently to have a second date? What should you do as the first date winds down to finish that event while setting the stage for the next?
You could give her a friendly hug, but this might seem sheepish or awkward. You could try to kiss her, but this could put off girls who want to go slow. You could invite her to your place, but unless she’s seemed eager for a sexual interlude, you’ll come off as a cad acting as if you expect sex in exchange for a date.
If you want to make a good first impression, and this is what the first date is, then don’t do any of these things. Don’t hug her, kiss her or proposition her.
This seems counter-intuitive to many men. Yet those actions are common behaviors by most men, and you’ll stand out by not doing these things.
You won’t look awkward, as if you’re compromising between a handshake and a kiss by hugging her. You won’t seem overly romantic or immature by kissing her on a first date. And you won’t seem like a jerk or opportunist by acting as if dinner entitles you to sex.
By doing something different, you’ll stand out. And you’re less likely to make a mistake by combining something as special as a first kiss with a first date.
By taking her to the date and not moving too quickly into physical contact, you’ll engage her long term interest. You’ll draw her toward you by suggesting a second date but leaving the options open for her to consider.
You’ll have days to plan the next event, without worrying about whether your awkward first kiss ruined an otherwise great first impression or if suggesting you have coffee at your place scared her away.
What exactly then should you do?
Step 1: Escort her to the cab, her car or her residence, ensuring that she gets to her ride or her home safely.
Step 2: Lean in as if to kiss her as you say your goodbyes.
Step 3: Instead of kissing her on the lips, kiss her on the cheek.
Step 4: After you’ve kissed her cheek, simply say, “I had a great time. Maybe we should do this again.”
Step 5: Walk away without another word.
Why walk her home? This is gentlemanly and shows that you are interested in protecting her, giving up time and convenience for her sake. It makes a good impression.
Why should you kiss her on the cheek? It is a tender gesture, but non-sexual. It impresses a girl that you show that you care and reassures those who would be frightened by forward sexual advances. And no one can critique the technique. Furthermore, it is done so rarely that she’s sure to remember you.
Why say those words? It says you enjoyed her company and would like to continue seeing her. However, it puts the onus on her to plan the next event or reach out to you. Leaving the possibilities open avoids the possibility that your suggestion of a second date gets shot down. Walking away without another word gives her a considering and kind goodbye without the long, awkward silences or halting “see you soon” or “maybe I’ll call” conversations.
Saying something like “I really want to see you again” can come off as self-centered. Trying to plan for the next date can take the glow left by this one. This ending generates a sense of mystery for the woman and wondering about what comes next, building anticipation for finding out what you’ll do next time.
By being left with this open ended invitation to go out again, she’ll think about the date and you much more than she would otherwise if you were just one more cad who took her out for dinner and drinks before demanding “payment”.
Women actually enjoy the romantic actions outlined in this plan. It causes her brain to release dopamine, a hormone associated with pleasure and addiction. It is the natural high that occurs during adolescent “puppy” love. And using this simple scenario to end the date seals the deal for the next one.